I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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