apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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