i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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