I'm jealous of your bromance
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize