I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
