ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have demons in me.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
