And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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