took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
