He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize