You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
