You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize