Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
