Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
