I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
