I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize