So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
