Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
