I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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