he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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