10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
