Got a toothbrush?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize