she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
