I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
