I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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