A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
