I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize