We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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