I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
