i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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