remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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