No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize