I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
