Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Someone came in the potted fern
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
