Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
