pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
