it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
