I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
