I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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