Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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