your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
