sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
