dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
