what if every blade of grass was a penis?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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