Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
