I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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