another moral hangover. fuck.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
