I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
