ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
