This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
