I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
