I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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