i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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