Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
