I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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