I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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