they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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