Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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