I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there was a trapeze. enough said
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
A bitchslap is in order.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
