We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was like eating out sand paper
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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