Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
