dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
