update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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