you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
