They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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