I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize