Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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