Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
