I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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