lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
