My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
