pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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