I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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