What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
