Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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