Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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