well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
